flatwhite.net

In fact, I am positively delighted at the thought. It combines two of my favourite pastimes – walking in the fresh seaside air and drinking toxic caffeinated beverages.

According to the notoriously inaccurate and superficial NZ Herald reporting, Marc Ellis (or rather his cleverly named company Preserve Piha Ltd) plans to build a café at Piha. His plans have been met with opposition from many vocal residents including the Protect Piha Heritage group. Just under 50% of the submissions received by Waitakere District Council were against the proposal.

This hearing has put the fear into me. For the first time in my life I agree with Marc Ellis on something.

I can understand people not wanting a café at stunning Karekare or Anawhata; these beaches are kept stunning by their lack of development. One can walk there and forget what century one belongs to. But Piha? Although it is my favourite of the West Coast beaches, Piha has a grotty fish and chip shop where insolent teenagers and harried parents congregate trying to stuff greasy food into their mouths while standing up. And then there is the local store filled with stale baked goods and overpriced milk. And apparently its estuary is filled with human shit, which somehow has become the strongest reason for not having cafe. That along with complaints about the noise that would be generated by the proposed café from people who have grudgingly put up with elderly citizens and small children for years (!?). So where are the people who like swimming in shit to go after a day at the beach or when the winter months aren’t conducive to picnics on the beach? Home I guess. Or to the local bowling club where for an annual membership fee of $30 you can celebrate stopping progress over a pint with the locals. That is if you get there between the hours of 5pm and 9pm on Thursdays to Sundays. Failing that you can sit in the car park which reeks of brake fluid and teenage hormones and sip from your thermos.

Here is my problem. I love nature but I also like the comforts of the city, namely grease-free food and silky coffee. Plus I am lazy so I never get around to packing a picnic let alone filling (and remembering to bring) a thermos. In this way my two homes outside of Auckland have suited me perfectly. New York had Central Park where you could always go for a brisk walk in the Ramble and then finish at the Boat House for a glass of pinot grigio in the summer or mulled wine in the winter. Oxford provides you will the beautiful Isis to walk along and conveniently placed pubs every mile or so.

Me thinks that the Piha locals are scared of people like me. They can handle bowling clubs, chip shops, rusty ford escorts, and the local dairy but a café serving salads with goat cheese and trim flat whites is just too, umm, Auckland. Or New York. Or Oxford. Or even Hamilton where there is the beautiful Hydro Majestic Café right on the river (serving delicious corn fritters, by the way). As of writing, there have been no complaints from the locals about people sipping lattes too loudly down by the river.

Sandra Coney, a staunch opponent of the café, sums the attitude up perfectly:

"The effects of the proposal will begin the journey of changing the landscape of Piha in its wider sense, from a unique village with its own special unsophisticated West Coast character and charm, to a more urbane, unauthentic and therefore unmemorable place."

Yes. A café will make Piha too sophisticated. It will take business away from the charming and character-filled fish and chip shop with its sticky plastic counter and sandy, wet concrete floor.

Enough of the histrionics. In short, I would love a café at Piha and cannot believe noone has thought of it sooner. I would love to go for a invigorating winter walk along the beach and then sit with my friends chatting over a bowl of hot chocolate. Or just sit by myself and read a book. Please Piha! I promise to speak quietly and not shit in your estuary.

This entry was posted on Tuesday, December 11th, 2007 at 10:03 PM and is filed under Food & Drink. You can follow any comments to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a comment, or trackback from your own site.