The title of ‘best thing’ can be an ephemeral one. I can recall bestowing this title upon such random (and frankly useless) objects such as a fab faux 70s plastic beaded curtain that I bought from iko iko on k rd about 10 years ago (looked great with my orange op-shop curtains), and a netball-sized mirror ball purchased from the Thursday markets at Auckland University (anyone remember those awful Hannibal Lecter tees with the ‘tastes like chicken’ slogan?). I screwed the afore-mentioned ball into my bedroom ceiling but unfortunately it didn’t spin all that well so I never got to enjoy the full benefit of that much sought after light effect and consequently I never quite got the ‘rave in your bedroom’ look down. A pair of chocolate brown stubbies which cost me $2 from an op shop in Warkworth in 7th form (which I still have now) briefly had the title as did various other odds and sods that cluttered up my bedroom. I can’t say my kinder surprise collection ever reached such great heights as to be a ‘best thing’, but it was damn cool none-the-less.
Sheldon Ruby
The piece de resistance however in the ‘best thing’ stakes is none other than Sheldon Ruby. He’s been from London to Lecce in the deep south of Italy, to Cabo de Gata of Spaghetti Western fame and (not quite) back again. Sheldon spectacularly spluttered in the midst of the Swiss Alps and is currently being mended at a mechanic in North London. I am eagerly anticipating having my bestest thing ever back within my sights and taking him on the road once more. And the prospect of Glastonbury with Sheldon? Well it doesn’t get much better than that. I will concede however that Sheldon didn’t win me over instantly. He’s like a loveable rouge, but a rouge all the same. If you’ve seen me lately and I look like I’ve aged, I attribute it solely to the fateful day last July that I first hopped behind the wheel…
Disastrous was an understatement. It was my first time driving in about a year, my first time driving in London traffic, my first time driving such a big vehicle, and the second time I’ve driven a left-hand drive. All of these rolled into one gave rise to a precarious ride, which I hate to admit left me in tears and slightly traumatised. This was mostly due to impatient drivers pulling out and over-taking on the left with no warning, and after the third near-accident in 10 minutes, I was left with severely frayed nerves. The very embarrassing but amusing part of the story (even I can see the funny side) was that when I drove off that day, one of the mechanics at the place we bought it from coincidentally headed off at the same time. He followed me and bore witness to my unfortunate lurching down the street, and most shamefully the bit when I misjudged Sheldon’s girth and rode up onto the kerb. He also saw me stall and then mistakenly try and start in what I thought was 1st but was actually 2nd gear. Hmmm. So this mechanic returns to work on Monday, and relays the story of my most unfortunate driving. He obviously spins a good yarn this geezer and made it sound like I was running the risk of adding a few to the road toll because the guy that sold us the van, lovely dad-like guy that he is, hears the story and feels compelled to call me and offer some driving tips! He approached it from the angle of ‘I wouldn’t want you to ruin the clutch by starting it in 2nd’. He didn’t tell me off but was trying to help. It was very sweet and thoughtful of him to call and give me a pep talk and I did receive some comfort from his repeated reassurance that ‘it will get better’, but heck it was embarrassing!
Sheldon aside, I am pleased to report that I recently acquired, if not a ‘best thing’, a very cool thing. A cook’s blowtorch. It’s certainly a random acquisition I admit, but there is method to my madness. I have wanted to make crème brulee for years and have never gotten around to it. I decided a couple of weeks ago that I was going to make it, so procured a recipe. To get that delicious crispy topping on crème brulee, the preferred method is to sprinkle sugar on the top and then blast it with a blowtorch. An alternative method is to sprinkle sugar on top of the brulee and then to grill it in the oven. I consulted various cookbooks and the consensus was that grilling is for chumps and that for a serious brulee maker, the blowtorch was obligatory. Now since it has taken me about 4 years to get around to making this brulee, and being one who doesn’t like to do things by halves, I did not want to make chumps brulee. There was no alternative. A blowtorch would be mine.
Conveniently there is a kitchen shop up the road from my house, so I went there and purchased a blowtorch for the bargain price of £9. I also purchased some lighter fluid and went home to try out my new toy. I am pleased to report that the crème brulee was a great success, and with the aid of the blowtorch looked suitably professional and had a delicious toffee-like topping. Mmm mmm. But half the fun was wielding the torch! The one I got is really small, it’s only about 15 cm high but if you crank it up it has a flame about that long. It makes a great hissing noise and emits a blue flame and I know the novelty will wear off, but it was actually damn fun to use. Kind of takes me back to messing around with Bunsen burners in the chem. lab. Interestingly, when I was looking at them pre-purchase on the web, every site seemed to say the same thing: once you’ve got one, you’ll discover all these other uses for it, and you’ll wonder how you lived without one. I’m pretty sure that is rubbish, as I haven’t thought of anything else as yet that it would be particularly useful for (apart from singeing the skin of peppers and tomatoes so they can be peeled), but maybe at some point will find some other uses for it apart from generally wreaking havoc or as an ostentatious barbeque lighter…
I recall fondly having conversations with friends in our late teens as to what their new best thing was. I can’t recall having that conversation for quite a few years. Maybe because we’re all older with consequently greater discretionary income so don’t take such delight in the acquisition of new best things as it’s not such an effort to get them. Maybe we’ve got better things to talk about. Maybe we’ve all got too much crap in our lives so don’t care so much when we get more. Consumerism is pretty rampant in the noughties and for most of us with a decent-ish job, we can pretty much buy whatever we want within reason. Consumerism is bad, but having a best thing is certainly good. Not all of you will have a best thing quite as grand as Sheldon Ruby in your life-time (you can dream though) but sometimes the simple things in life like a blowtorch will do.
Sheldon is indeed the bomb, but my newest best thing is my sweet solar powered battery charger. Mint, and about time I got one. I’ve lost track of how many AA batteries have passed through my grubby hands in the past 30 years, but it’s gotta be a few hundred – at least. With this new puppy I can effectively buy NO MORE batteries. Forever. Better for the environment, and better for my back pocket for sure – only cost £7! For the doubters out there – yes, it does work. Tried and tested for the past few weeks and has easily charged 4xAAAs or 4xAAs by just leaving it outside for a day and forgetting about it. You know it makes sense…